I'd Do Anything To Keep You With Me
by oblivious-massacre
Summary: After everything Peeta and Katniss have been through, how could he want children? Although Katniss is terrified of what will happen to her children in the future, there is one thing that scares her more than that...


**I just thought I would make a one-shot about how Peeta and Katniss decide to have children. I remembered Katniss saying that Peeta talked her into it in the end of Mockingjay and came up with what I thought happened. I hope you like it.**

I sat up in bed, for once not comforted by Peeta's presence. We were in the same bed, although most couples would have been separated in our situation. I'd heard from a couple of other women in District 12 that they kick their husbands to the couch when they argue. I'd actually thought about kicking Peeta out of our bed and onto the couch, but thought better of it.

I can't stand waking up without him here. It sounds like something lame a girl totally head-over-heels says about her husband, but I have my reasons. For one, I'm always afraid that I will wake up in a new place without him. Whether it's one of the arena's we spent time in, District 13, or the Capitol, I'm always afraid. If he isn't with me when I wake, I think the worst has happened, and then I have to talk to myself to calm down, which seems really crazy.

For two, if he isn't here, I feel vulnerable. We work as a team, he and I. Without him, I am only one half of a whole. I never thought about it like that before, but now that I've given into my emotions, I can see it clearly.

Peeta's arms aren't around me tonight, like they usually are. No, tonight, he faces the opposite direction than me, clearly still upset about our fight. We don't have too many fights now; after all, he's the only person I love that I have left… But this was a different matter altogether.

We'd been downstairs in the kitchen. I was cutting up some meat we'd bought at the butcher's shop and Peeta was stirring the stew it would go in. He had been talking about his friend, Gorge's, newborn baby. She'd been born the night before, the spitting image of her mother, Halle. I knew we would have the discussion again even before he said anything.

"Katniss…?" Peeta whispered, still looking at the stew.

I looked up at him for only a moment, then went back to the meat. "Yes?"

He didn't answer for a long time, but I didn't nudge him. I didn't want to have this discussion - or should I say fight - again just as much as he didn't, but we knew it was inevitable. Though I am grateful that I have Peeta in my life, I sometimes wish that I had decided to stay single, like Haymitch. Then, I wouldn't have to discuss this with anyone.

Finally, when I went to put the meat in the stew, Peeta looked up at me. "Please?"

It's all he has to say for me to feel horrible. "I really wish I could give you what you wanted, Peeta, but I will never, ever do what it is you want me to do. I just…can't."

"But you don't have to worry about the Games anymore! There's no reason not to!" he cried, letting go of the spoon in the stew to take my hand. "I know you're afraid, but I'll be right there next to you the entire time."

"You don't understand." I whispered, hating that I couldn't give him everything he ever wanted. The Hunger Games already promised both of us that, but we figured out a long time ago that they had lied. "It's not just about the future. It's about the past. What if they want to know about what it was like? What if they start asking us all these questions…?"

My voice broke at the end of the sentence, causing Peeta to gather me in his arms. "We'll be there for each other. Besides, we'd have the authority over them. Haven't you wondered what it'd be like to dictate every move someone makes?"

I looked up at him defiantly. "Like the Capitol did?"

I could tell by the look on his face that I had said the wrong thing. If I had just said no, I could've avoided a major blowout, but I always had to go and run my mouth. He pulled away from me, walking toward the kitchen exit. "I'll be in the study."

We'd barely said two words to each other ever since. I looked to my left, seeing that morning was not too far away outside the window. I thought about going out to hunt, to try and clear my mind, but after sitting up, I realized that I was too upset to go out or do anything. Sometimes that will happen to me and Peeta is the only one who can make me feel better. That morning, I knew he would be of no help.

I turned away from the window to look at Peeta. I saw everything that I had gone through the instant my eyes caught his sleeping form. I relived every horrible moment from my past in the blink of an eye, but there was one thing that stood out from the rest of the memories.

"Peeta?" I whispered. He moved, but didn't wake up. I found that strange since he usually woke up at the sound of my voice. He thought I didn't know, but Peeta would usually wake with a start at the sound of my voice, thinking we were in danger again. I usually did the same thing when he tried to wake me. "Peeta?" I said a little louder this time.

"Katniss…" Peeta whispered, rolling over toward me so that I could see his amazing face. In every wrinkle, I could see the hardships he endured over the years, ever since we were sixteen. But what surprised me was that I could also see the wrinkles from all the smiles and laughter he'd experienced.

I laid back down and snuggled closer to Peeta. "Peeta, honey, wake up."

Without warning, Peeta's eyes popped open, scanning everything around him before realizing that we were home. When he realized that I was the one who woke him, his face started to relax. But then, I guess remembering that we were fighting, his mouth turned into a hard line. "What time is it?"

I'll admit that I had woken Peeta for my own selfish reasons. I only wanted to wake him up so that he could comfort me, not thinking that he would ever refuse. But seeing him so…bitter broke something inside me. I knew, right then, who would be giving into who.

"Almost dawn." I whispered, laying back down but keeping my distance from him.

He closed his eyes again and let out a moan before groggily replying, "Why did you wake me up so early? I don't have to be at the bakery for another three hours."

I carefully weighed my next words, trying to think of how he would react in every scenario. Finally, I decided to say the simplest thing I could think of. "I have something to tell you."

This time, one of Peeta's eyes opened before the other, taking his time reading my face. "What is it?" This wasn't Peeta's normal tone of love and understanding that he usually used when speaking to me, but it also wasn't the hurtful, angry one that he had been using before.

I took a deep breath, telling myself that I could do this. "I want…to have a baby."

If I had thought Peeta wasn't listening to me, I would've been surprised at his reaction. He sat up straight in bed, one hand under his chin. "Really? Katniss, don't joke around with me about this."

"I'm not joking." I replied, trying to fight the pang of hurt his words caused me. "I really want to have a baby."

He sat completely up, his fingers reaching out to touch my face, my hair. It was as if he thought he was dreaming. "What changed your mind?"

I looked to the bed, thinking of the perfect way to explain this, but giving up when I remembered that Peeta was the one good with words, not me. "Well… I've seen some pretty horrible things in my life. I've gone through a lot of horrible things in my life. I -"

"Please don't tell me that you changed your mind because you want something bright in your life. If that's it, I am going to shoot myself in the foot for not thinking of mentioning that." Peeta interrupted me. I gave him a hard look and he put his hands up in the air. "Sorry. Go on."

I took a deep breath and continued. "I saw my mother slip into a depression after my father died. I watched the look of terror on Prim's face as she tried to be brave when her name was called at her first reaping. I watched Rue die and killed her murderer. I went through not one, but two Hunger Games, and will never be able to forget either.

"I saw Gale whipped, and you hurt so many times." I swallowed the bile I could feel rising in my throat. "I watched my little sister die." Here, I started to choke up, and Peeta went to grab me in his arms, but I stopped him. "No, I need to get this out. You see, I've seen so many horrible, ghastly things, and they will never leave me. But there is one memory that is so difficult to get over that I'm willing to do anything to make sure it doesn't repeat itself."

I could feel the tears springing to my eyes, and tried to get them to go away. I failed. "Peeta, you were halfway right about me wanting something bright in my future. Only it wasn't children. It's you. I just… The way we've been fighting, it reminded me of something else. Something I dreamt about last night because you weren't holding me."

Peeta's arm reached out to stroke mine, trying to soothe me. "Katniss, just calm down. You don't need to do all this explaining. Just tell me what changed your mind."

I took a deep breath, counted to three, and let it go, feeling much calmer. Wiping away a tear that had fallen, I looked him straight in the eyes. "I can't lose you again. When you came back from the Capitol, and you didn't remember me, it was the most horrible thing I went through. With all those other things, I could just try to think about something else, and that would be enough. But when you came back all…different, I had to find something to occupy my time in order not to think of you.

"Peeta, the way we've been fighting reminds me of then, and I can't take it. I'll do whatever you want, just, please, don't hate me." The tears started to fall freely then, and Peeta didn't even take the time to wipe them away before I was in his arms again.

"Oh, Katniss." he whispered, running his fingers through my hair. "I would never hate you. I love you too much."

"You were the same way before…and look what happened…"

He pulled back to look me in the face. "Katniss, if this is what you're going through with this decision, we don't have to have kids."

"No!" I practically shrieked. "No, no. I want to. Really, I do. I just… I'm going to need your help."

He laughed, pulling me back to his chest. "Well, that's obvious. The birds and the bees and all."

"No," I whispered. I looked up straight into his face and repeated, "I'm going to need your help."

All the humor in Peeta's face drained as he realized what I was saying. Then he planted a sweet, soft kiss on my lips. As we started to lay back down - still kissing - I pulled away from him. He looked confused until I started to speak.

"I can't do this without you. I'll need you here, by my side, every step of the way. Will you? Be there, that is?" I whispered.

His entire face softened. "Always."

And with that, our daughter was conceived.


End file.
